He gave me the letter S:
First word that came to me as I lay try to sleep was:
Stories: both reading them and writing them. Whether long stories or short, whether written last year or a hundred years ago, I love to read and I love to write, stories about fandom or about my own little world, maybe even more so about my own little world. When my dad died, reflecting on my own someday, I realized that I didn't so much mind dying for myself, as long as Lauren is settled, but that I minded that all the little people who have populated my head since I was t10 or so, would die with me never having had their stories told. So, to my satisfaction, I am.
Science: When people ask me what I believe in, I tell them science and not just because of what all the different sciences can reveal to us about who we are and where we live, but also about how science is done. While the goal matters, it's the journey that really counts and if it turns out that some long-cherished tenant of some beloved theory is proved wrong, eventually it will be discarded and something new will replace it. Moving ever forward.
Sound: Actually sound & sight because since I'm somewhat lacking in the one -sight, I make up for that lacking with the other -sound. My world is full of sound, music is a constant because it grounds me, almost as if the music defines my borders. When I walk into a place with little or no sound like someone's quiet house, I feel disconnected, ill-at-ease, almost like in a void. Plus, I hear things others don't, far off distant things, the roar of a motorcycle for way too long, dogs barking in garages, a freakin' car alarm several blocks away that woke me up the other night and that then went on and on and on.
Finally, a lot more words come to mind but I chose:
Safe:Something I have pretty much always felt, but now no longer really do, living here in America. Movie theaters...nope, not really. Malls...not so much. College campuses...well, Santa Cruz is probably okay. I listen to the self-proclaimed 'good guy' NRAers and they scare me, seriously scare me. They don't make me feel safe, they make me feel vulnerable. I don't want to live in their world, one where it seems like a whole lot of people have just given up on even pretending to be civilized. It's like The Wild West all over again. How fun!! Like my husband, David, said 'I don't want to have to worry about whether the guy at the next table in the restaurant has a concealed weapon or not'.
Two hundred thousand people almost immediately joined the NRA after 20 five-year olds and five of their protectors were slaughtered. Record sales at gun shows...everywhere. Oh hell no, don't ask me for no background checks. What thehell good"ll that do? The criminals will still get their guns so, why the fuck do anything at all, right?? Notice how the NRA is using women as their spokesmen on CNN and elsewhere. Very clever. Still, I believe here are a lot of straight white men in this country that hate, women, blacks, gays, whoever, and they demand their right to be armed. Not all NRAers are haters, not all gun owners are irresponsible, but enough are that I no longer feel safe. I'd been thinking about wanting to leave this hotbed of liberalism I live, but now I'm thinking, maybe not. Rant over.
Okay, well, that was longer then I imagined it would be. Sorry if I blather on.
Wanna ask me for a letter?? Come on, you know you do. Right?