I'm not entirely, or even vaguely, sure what the words at the end mean but I've read this book and it is excellent.
You're The Giver!
by Lois Lowry
While you grew up with a sheltered childhood, you're pretty sure everyone around you is even more sheltered. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, you were tapped on the shoulder and transported to the real world. This made you horrified by your prior upbringing and now you're tormented by how to reconcile these two lives. Ultimately, the struggle comes down to that old free will issue. Choose wisely.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
I think it means I know I now have it, and have always had it, better then most
and I'm not comfortable (tormented?? not so much...sadly)
with that understanding.