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Friday Five

1. What is the most important lesson you have learned from your love life?
It's variable and, for me, has required a flexible approach, the balance between being the oak and standing my ground, and being the willow and giving in. Give in too much and I'll lose myself, stand my ground too much and I'll lose my relationship. The most important lesson for me has been realizing the need for middle ground, for compromise.

2. When it comes to love, are you an optimist or a cynic?
In the main, a cynic. In my heart of heart of hearts maybe I'm more optimistic but, real life has taught me that a cautious,more cynical approach keeps expectations more reasonable.

3. You see a long lost ex walking down the street. Are you more likely to approach him/her or just keep walking?
Depends on which ex but more likely than not, I'd approach

4. Do you believe in the idea of a soul mate?
I did when I was much younger but now, not so much. Too fatalistic. Too starry-eyed.

5. Care to share any relationship stories?
My now husband and I met in Art School, Painting 101, 48 years ago and for 15 years, we dated each other and we dated other people, both of us realizing that we needed time to grow, eventually also realizing that despite all the twists and turns, we always ended up coming back to each other. Then on that most happy day in 1987, David said the words I'd been longing to hear --yeah, I guess you're right, I guess we should get married-- and we did much to the surprise of our friends and family  And, unlike most of our friends, we haven't divorced, we remain together, and our life is full to brimming with not just our history but with our future. Despite the fact that now and then, we want to kill each other in disturbing literal ways, we continue to plan for tomorrow. He retires this year, what a freaking challenge that is going to be but we'll probably be just fine. Only time will tell.

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Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
ashmedai
Mar. 23rd, 2018 08:37 pm (UTC)
I would've answered 1-4 in the same way (the only difference being that I was already a cynic as a child and never believed in soul mates, haha).

That's a great relationship story, and with so much rich history it sounds like one of the strongest relationships I've heard about. Especially:

Despite the fact that now and then, we want to kill each other in disturbing literal ways, we continue to plan for tomorrow.

Haha! How well Chris and I can relate to that! I was a little shocked to remember I met him 20 years ago this year, well over half my life ago, and despite the occasional homicidal urges, we also continue to plan. :)
fansee
Mar. 24th, 2018 01:52 am (UTC)
You are a realist when it comes to love. So am I. I married very young...11 days before my 17th birthday...and wasn't even sure I was in love. I knew Walter very well, however, and liked him a lot. I felt, rationally, that we would do well together, and he wanted very much to get married, so.... Forty-six years, four months, and 18 days later, he died. It worked out. FanSee
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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