CHAPTER TITLE: One More Wall to Surround Him _Four of One Hundred
RATING: this chapter: PG13 mostly for language
WORD COUNT: this chapter: 555
WARNINGS: this chapter: none, Brian POV
NON-CANON: Britin is in the countryside outside of Pittsburgh, not in West Virginia
DISCLAIMER: Nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already? Not mine.
Originally Beta'ed by herefordroad, all subsequent mistakes are mine
Story throughout contains excerpts from The Brian Kinney Operating Manual including commentary from the Editors
SUMMARY FROM THE EDITORS: ‘She even remembered their camera, Brian was expecting pictures of everything and he’d have them in his email first thing tomorrow morning’
Gus melts down because everyone keeps changing everything in his life without his consultation
AUTHOR‘S NOTES: This story projects 59 years into the future and reflects all that that entails, many of the loose ends are tied-up. I dance with POV, I dance with time, in essence, I just dance to the song Brian & Justin sang to me.
Contains: Brian_others, Justin_others. They grow old, they are always together for just as long as time allows, but, ultimately, they will die.
As someone wise once said, ‘In the end, it’s all about Brian and Justin’ and I can only agree
A Time From Now
One More Wall to Surround Him
Next Day - Pittsburgh
Hung Over. Fuck.
Shouldn’t he be used to this by now?
Gingerly extracting himself from the cocoon of his bed still tired, his night troubled by the dream-filled half-sleep of a fear both demanding and consuming, Brian wandered into the kitchen on a quest for sustenance, instead finding a refrigerator filled only with water bottles there only to minimizing the visual of otherwise complete emptiness. He wrote FOOD on the Justin-installed sticky-notepad and turned on the coffee-maker. Satisfied that finally something was getting done, he took up residence in the living room where, apparently the sun had also, as far far too much of its unnaturally day-glo light assaulted his fragile eyes. But he waited it out, sprawled on the sofa, his arm draped protectively yet elegantly over his face until the coffee-maker beep-beep-beeped that what sustenance it could provide was finally ready. While drinking it, while taking its, never to be underestimated, healing power into himself, he wandered the loft…aimless, unfocused, vulnerable. Normally, he had distractions, at this ungodly hour, to occupy him or at least one particular and very willing distraction. Right now, in this moment, the sounds of whimpering and moaning should be filing the loft, soothing his nerves. A soft warm mouth should be sucking his cock, taking the edge off and he couldn’t help but notice how that wasn’t happening.
“Huh?” he uttered, his first real comment on the day, and an appropriate one too given he’d just then noticed that the laptop was on and why would that be? Obviously, and ominously, something wasn’t quite right. He knew he’d turned it off last night when he’d left with Michael. Something not unlike a stupid annoying little voice was telling him that coffee wasn’t going to be enough, that a cigarette was also needed before further investigation could proceed. Groaning his frustration when discovering he was out, he then took a deep breath instead, readying himself, as he faced a screen glowing with the unmistakable format of ‘Yahoo‘, which could only mean one thing, that in the dark, warped hours of sometime last night, he’d emailed someone.
After completing his further investigation, after finding and rereading only once, a mistake never to be repeated, this first email to Justin, he deleted it, the delete function becoming his life-long shield against knowing too much, just another wall to protect himself but not from others. Instead, this wall would be used to protect him from himself. A time would come when it would no longer be necessary, when it would mostly be habit that kept him using it, but for whatever reasons, he always would.
The Brian Kinney Operating Manual - A Life Examined
the section titled - ‘Brian and His Coping Methods: Sometimes They Work, Sometimes They Don’t’
This is the first of what will become several hundred emails he will periodically send to his partner, whether from Pittsburgh or when ’finally’ in New York or from wherever he may find himself, the beginning of what will become a life-long pattern, a life-long necessity. And Justin, being who he is, understands right from the beginning. Without really having to have anything explained, without Brian really having to saying anything at all, he simply understands.
Next Chapter: Gus melts down because everyone keeps changing everything in his life without his consultation
for original post & additional chapters, please see here