CHAPTER TITLE:Mine, One Last Time _Thirty-Five_of One Hundred
RATING: this chapter: PG13
WORD COUNT: this chapter: 2,300
WARNINGS: this chapter: Brian - other_Mark POV
DISCLAIMER: Nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already? Not mine.
Originally Beta’ed by herefordroad, all subsequent mistakes are mine
Story throughout contains excerpts from The Brian Kinney Operating Manual including commentary from the Editors
SUMMARY FROM THE EDITORS: ‘The cab was gone and with the street strangely empty, he was on his own for awhile. ‘
Knowing, regretting when it’s time to go
AUTHOR‘S NOTES: This story projects 59 years into the future and reflects all that that entails, many of the loose ends are tied-up. I dance with POV, I dance with time, in essence, I just dance to the song Brian & Justin sang to me.
Contains: Brian_others, Justin_others. They grow old, they are always together for just as long as time allows, but, ultimately, they will die.
As someone wise once said, ‘In the end, it’s all about Brian and Justin’ and I can only agree
A Time From Now
Mine, One Last Time
One Week Later - Pittsburgh
Hands fisted deep in his pockets, hunched tight into himself, anxious, Mark contemplated the Tremont Street building, committing its every detail to memory. The cab was gone and with the street strangely empty, he was on his own for awhile. Trembling, not so much from any external chill as from some internal anxiety, realizing he would never be here again, the full weight of that reality shook him, so he lingered only reluctantly punching in the door-code when forced to by the cold. He opened and stepped through the doorway, startling for no real reason when, caught by the wind, the door slammed shut behind him and he hesitated, trying without too much success, to reassure himself.
He wanted to be with Brian, but was also completely aware that once this night started, it would have to end and that he didn’t want to happen. While Miller&ThompsonSan Francisco was the right move for him, he didn’t want to leave Brain, but since Brian had helped in every possible way to make this relocation happen, in just 24 hours he would be gone, so he hesitated, angry for having allowed Brian to become much more important than he was supposed to be. Once upstairs, before knocking, he laid his forehead against the familiar steel door, whispering, ‘one last time, just one last time’ again and again. But, of course, he finally did knock because Brian was waiting, just on the other side, to tell him good-bye in the only way he knew how and, as if he needed proof, he was barely through the door when Brian had him pinned up against it, his hands, his mouth, his body greedy, consuming, possessive.
“You’re late,” Brian said, confronting him before licking along his jaw to his throat where he sucked with teeth nipping. Just lifting his mouth, his breath soothing and exhilarating, he nearly threatened, “I’ve been waiting…very…patiently.” Then, continuing his sucking across his throat and his licking up toward his other ear, Brian left warm trails of spit and tiny red bite marks everywhere his mouth, his tongue, his teeth touched.
“Just ten minutes, Brian,” Mark sighed. “I’m only ten minutes….” His voice trailed off as he tilted his head back, as he exposed even more skin for Brian‘s hungry mouth. His hands held Brian‘s hips as he bucked up into him, his cock already hard.
“Thought I just might have to start without --”
“The fuck you say,” Mark laughed and suddenly needing control, he bucked even harder against Brian, surprising him, but Brian only fought until his surprise left him before allowing himself to be controlled. Now he had Brian backed up against the cold door, his tongue demanding in Brian‘s mouth, his body restraining Brian‘s body. His hands caressed him firm along his throat and then with one hand gripping into his hair, with the other cupping the back of his head, protecting him against the steel, he thrust his crotch again into Brian’s causing that much desired pulse, causing him to moan. “Tonight,” he growled into Brian’s mouth, “I want you.” And kissing him hard, he demanded, “I want you I want you I need you.” Brian always fucked him and as right as that may have been, that wouldn’t be all that happened tonight. Dropping his hands, then skimming both upward under Brian‘s sweater over his belly Mark murmured, “Naked…now.” And Brian lifted his arms.
“Don’t rip,” Brain cautioned sensing his need to be out of control. “After all, you did buy it for --” Swallowing Brian’s words in a possessive kiss, he held Brian’s upraised arms, bound in the only-half-removed sweater, back against the door. Brian held his eyes, chuckling, “Ahhh, finally gonna get my ass and for your going away present…very fitting?”
Suddenly pissed…hurt…embarrassed, he pushed Brian hard back against the door. His condescending attitude, the impossible situation, just…just everything. That was all this meant to Brian, he’d be gone tomorrow so…what the fuck difference, right? Might as well throw the dog a bone. Nothing more. This meant nothing more. He meant nothing more. Grabbing him, he ripped the sweater off his arms, hurling it across the loft and stepping back…stepping away, there was a hard catch in his breathing as he continued staring hard at Brain, as he stepping even further away from Brain. Hurt. Hurt. So hurt. He’d been right all along, Brian had never given a shit. And now he was just throwing his soon to be gone dog a bone.
“Fuck, Mark, c’mon, I didn’t mean --”
“The fuck you didn’t,” he said soft and low. “Four months and that’s still all I am to you, just some glorified trick, nothing more. Now I can have you because, what the fuck…right? I‘m being sent away anyhow…like Jus --”
“No Mark, not like Justin. Nothing like Justin and you know that. I’ve never lied to you. I never led you --”
“No,” Mark whispered so quiet he could have been talking only to himself, “you never did lie.” Backed up now to the brick wall, leaning against the it, Mark stared out the large window into the Pittsburgh nighttime, his arms wrapped tight around himself. “You never did lie to me, I‘ll give you that.” And he smirked his pain out to the darkness. Brian now stood just behind him, so close he could feel his heat, but Brian didn’t touch him, he wanted to, need crackled in the air, but he also knew he wouldn‘t, not yet. And he was glad; he couldn’t have handled it if Brian tried.
Brian gave him whispered words instead, confessing to him, “You were starting to matter and that…scared me and when Justin showed up, I know it scared him.” Brian leaned over his shoulder, talking right into his ear, right into his very being. “Because he realized I’ve changed for one thing, but also I think, because he realized I cared about you, that you weren‘t just some trick. And that shouldn’t have happened. So maybe I was nervous about us, but Mark, I swear to you, I swear, I never would’ve suggested you take a job somewhere else, with someone else if it wasn’t right. Believe me. I sent out a couple of feelers and only in San Francisco, that‘s all.” He was aware suddenly that Brian was touching him, that he was in front of him now and barely touching him everywhere. His anger, his confusion faded a little as Brian, cupping his face with both hands, confided, “I do get it. You’re pissed because you think all of this is harder on you than on me, but that’s bullshit. I care about you, maybe not in the way you want, but I do. Under different circumstances…maybe, I don‘t know. What I do know is that I want this night with you, the way it’s always been with us. Mark, I don’t want it to end like this, do you?”
Calming himself, Mark pushed off the wall and taking his hand, he led Brian up the stairs and to the foot of the bed. “You realize, that’s probably the most words you’ve ever said to me at one time.” Brian chuckled. Continuing to undress Brian, when finally done, he felt almost shy as Brian watched him as he knelt, as he roamed Brian’s body with his hands, with his mouth, with his eyes, scenting him and tasting him and memorizing every muscle and curve and texture of him. Everything about him he knew he could never forget anyway.
Standing slowly, running his body inch by endless inch up Brian’s, once before him, he suddenly pushed him back onto the bed and Brian laughed, while backward crawling toward the far wall. He murmured, “Strip for me, Mark, you know how that gets me. Take your time.” Undressing slowly, swaying gently, rhythmically, finding the music inside him while Brian made himself comfortable, only then did he start his seduction. His striptease was always done with abandon, sensual yet strong and tonight would be his best to date. As he hummed, as his hips gyrated and his body throbbed, he stroked his hands over his body and through his now tangled hair. He was aware of every movement he made and how every one of them affected Brian.
Pausing, watching Brian with lust-filled eyes as he stroked himself with his legs apart, as he smiled while licking his bottom lip…anticipating him, Mark was reminded how every once in a while, whether across from him in a restaurant or next to him in the Vette or passing by him at Kinnetik, Brian could just fucking take his breath away. God…just like now. He wanted Brian more than he’d ever wanted anyone; maybe more then he’d ever want anyone again. Slowing and then finally stopping his dance, crawling with catlike focus onto the bed, he leisurely made his way up Brian’s body, with warm, long licks and quick, hard bites marking his way. Heels, calves, thighs, balls, cock, belly, nipples, throat, every part of him was marked and savored. Brian’s moans, his clutched fingers, his sweat-dampened skin sustained him. And once at his mouth, his kiss took both their breaths away. “Fuck,” Brian gasped and now Mark chuckled. And when his body was inside of Brian’s, for that brief moment, when they were complete with each other, there was no anger, no fear, no sense of betrayal, just the two of them, one last time, complete. It would end, he understood this bliss had to end, but the night was still new and for at least a few more hours Mark wasn’t going anywhere.
Brian kept Mark with him during his last 24 hours in Pittsburgh, neither of them really had anywhere else they would’ve rather have been. Brian even drove him to the airport and, before leaving him at security, gave him a small box, saying, “To be opened in-flight.” Brian waited silently with him in the security line for as long as he could before whispering, “I’ll miss you, Mark, believe me.” And then he was gone, leaving without looking back, but Mark watched him until he couldn‘t see him any longer and for awhile even after that.
… Excerpt from
the Brian Kinney Operating Manual - a Life Examined
Chapter titled - ‘Brian Plus Others - As to Their Outcome’
Justin only meets Mark that one time because it has always been Mark’s dream to live in San Francisco. Fortunately, Brian knows ad people there who show an interest, when feelers are sent out, in a talented young man from Kinnetik. He interviews well and, ultimately, is hired by Miller&ThompsonSan Francisco, Brian‘s first choice for him. Just seven weeks after meeting Justin, Mark moves to the city where he‘ll spend the rest of his life. Apparently Brian’s quite adept at motivating people to pursue their dreams elsewhere. Intentionally? Do two people, in fact, create intention? We may never know.
Before leaving Mark sends Justin an email saying, in part: ‘Understand, Justin, Brian’s not okay. He has nightmares and isn’t sleeping well. Watch him please and don’t tell him I contacted you‘. Just Mark taking care of his former boss…his for-awhile lover…his friend.
Four years later, while at Miller&ThompsonSan Francisco, Mark will find James who will love him for the 25 remaining years time allows them. Four years after meeting, they leave Miller&Thompson to start their own small agency, ARTExpression, which specializes in both the fine and theatre arts including, but not limited to, painters, sculptors, designers and small dance and theatre groups throughout the bay area. Naturally, they will be successful. In fact, they will thrive.
James will only ask once where Mark got the silver key chain that he carries with him always, the one with the M2005B engraved on it. Mark will tell him a friend gave it to him when he left Pittsburgh and leave it at that. James will never question him again. He’s learned over time not to question Mark on his life before coming to San Francisco. Some things, he’s learned, are just better left unsaid.
Mark follows their careers, both Brian’s and Justin‘s, with a certain satisfaction, understanding that he had in some meaningful way a hand in their success and he’s certainly right. He helped them both in a way he’ll never fully understand when he helped Brain save his sanity. He isn’t Brian’s only helper, of course, but he played a major role and, for that, we can only be thankful. He was the first of Brian’s new coping method, his new kind of trick and since he worked out so well, Brian was willing to try the same method again. Had he not worked out well, well…we shudder to imagine. Brian left adrift is not a pretty picture.
While with Miller&ThompsonSan Francisco, the power men will be more than impressed with the campaigns Mark creates for them. After noting that the only other company he had worked for was Kinnetik out of Pittsburgh, the board of directors of Thomspon&Thompson, Miller&Thompson’s parent company out of Chicago, will decide to follow Kinnetik’s progress, keeping an eye open to any other possible business opportunities, a decision that will, ultimately, have far-reaching consequences.
When they are in their late fifties, Mark and James will drown together in a freak boating accident off the Marin coast. Brian will never know how, each and every day of his life, Mark was grateful to him for getting him to San Francisco with all the skills needed to make a decent, successful life for himself. He will never realize how each and every day of his life Mark silently thanked him for helping him get the fucking out of Pittsburgh and to the clean ocean breezes of northern California and, most importantly, to James.
Sadly, or so we think, Brian will however know of Mark’s death because, just as Mark had followed Brian and Justin’s lives, Brian had also followed his, taking a certain pride in his successes, only to be ultimately devastated when Mark dies far too young.
Next Chapter: Toronto visits New York and, while there, makes some revealing observations
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