CHAPTER TITLE: Things Were Said_Sixty-Four of One Hundred
RATING: this chapter: PG
WORD COUNT: this chapter: 1,880
WARNINGS: this chapter: none_Jayden POV
DISCLAIMER: Nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already? Not mine
Originally Beta’ed by herefordroad, all subsequent mistakes are mine
Story throughout contains excerpts from The Brian Kinney Operating Manual including commentary from the Editors
SUMMARY FROM THE EDITORS: ‘…he couldn’t help but notice how Brian was avoiding his eyes, the TV had suddenly become all consuming.’
Jayden understands that a cornered Brian is an unpredictable Brian, and therefore one that must be handled with care
AUTHOR‘S NOTES: This story projects 59 years into the future and reflects all that that entails, many of the loose ends are tied-up. I dance with POV, I dance with time, in essence, I just dance to the song Brian & Justin sang to me.
Contains: Brian_others, Justin_others. They grow old, they are always together for just as long as time allows, but, ultimately, they will die.
As someone wise once said, ‘In the end, it’s all about Brian and Justin’ and I can only agree
A Time From Now
Things Were Said
One Month Later - Pittsburgh
“Well, guess my time here is just about over,” Jayden sighed, draping himself along Brian’s side for emphasis. Just a little reminder of what he might be about to lose.
“Did you say something?” Brian said.
“I know what you said, I just don’t understand what you mean and move over, you’re crowding me. Not to the other end of the couch, asshole. It‘s always extremes with you, isn‘t it?” Grabbing his arm, Brian pulled him back.
“Four months, you’ve had your perverted yet compelling way with me for nearly four months now and the way I understand it, the way the legend bordering on myth has been passed down is that four months is pretty much your outside limit. Four sweet, sweet months of you giving me your part-time awareness and then it’s bye bye baby, don‘t let the door hit you on your way out. I do recall your mentioning something to that very effect when first we began our little…tryst.” He’d laid his head on Brian’s shoulder while they both watched the TV without actually seeing it all that much anymore. And as far as he was concerned, this was not something unexpected; this was something Brian should have known was coming. “Ain‘t that right, Bri?”
“No…that ain’t right, Jayd,” Brian said, and pausing for emphasis, he repeated, “No, that isn’t right, Jayden. Why should you leave?”
“Huh? Why indeed. Well, we talked for one thing, remember? Four long and mind-fuckingly beautiful months ago we talked and things, that are at least important to me, were said. For instance, about Justin.”
“You know where I stand. When I’m able, I’ll leave for New York. You’re not a problem for him. It’s not Justin that has you dancing this bullshit. What’s really up?”
“Frankly, I‘m a little hurt that I‘m not any sort of a problem for him,” and smirking at Brian’s snort of a laugh, he continued, “But you’re right, I do know exactly where you stand and where…we stand.” He’d laid down now with his head in Brian’s lap and looking up at him, he couldn’t help but notice how Brian was avoiding his eyes, the TV having become suddenly all consuming
He’d noticed how, just now and then, Brian had this tendency to allow completely insignificant things to utterly consume him when he was confronted with significant, albeit unpleasant, things. Brian was an escapist and even though he had known that coming in, it was one thing to hear about such behavior and a whole other thing to actually have to deal with it over an extended period of time. “You have made it perfectly clear, I am the mistress, he is the wife, and you’re actually the cigar smoking guy from Jersey who has people whacked, am I right?”
“Something like that,” Brain murmured, then shifting uneasily, he said, “Look Jayden--”
“Brian, I really do understand.” Sitting, he then crawled into Brian’s lap, straddling him; he cupped his face, forcing him to meet his eyes. “I do, I promise. And yeah, it makes me a little sad sometimes because I think you and I could have been good together, but he found you first and, although you’d never say it this way, you do belong to him.”
“Get the fuck off of me.” Brian growled, shoving him pretty hard, but not really hard enough to actually shove him away, just enough to throw him off balance.
But just momentarily, because he quickly continued, “Remember when we talked, that first day? You made it clear how things were, still are, not only with you and Justin, but with just you. You made it perfectly clear what I was supposed to be for you, the role I was to play and I have upheld my end of the deal, but I think we both also realize that I’m not like the others, that I mean more to you than they did.” Sighing, Brian nuzzled into his chest and Jayden just held him. “I’m not just some repeat trick. I don’t kid myself that you’ll ever love me the way you love him, but I do believe you, in some small way--”
“Jayden--” Brian begged into him.
“Let me finish--”
“Please.” Looking up at him, Brian laughed, “You and your sweet ass have been sitting on my cock for some time now and it’s really starting to--”
“Yeah, I know, but I have something I need to say and then we’ll see.”
“Yes, we’ll see. Other things were discussed early on that I need to reiterate.”
“I see you do remember.” He had removed himself, along with his sweet ass, from Brian’s lap. Now the two men sat side by side. Important things were to be discussed, at least, things that were important to him. “I remember telling you that I was not a bottom…not exclusively, not even mostly. That I considered bottoming just another part of a healthy sexual diet, you know like…topping. You informed me, well…I believe your exact words were “you wanna be with me you keep your dick away from my ass” or words to that effect, right? Am I remembering correctly? Oh, and something about Justin, what was it? Ahhh, I remember. You’d start bottoming for him before me, right? And so have you, have you started bottoming for him? I take it from that serious smirk, that you have not. Too bad. That‘s really too…too bad.” Brian hadn’t said anything, he’d just stared at his hands, lacing and unlacing his fingers. His only contribution to the conversation having been smirks and sighs.
“And just as I thought, but the discussion didn’t end there, remember? I told you I would be what you wanted me to be, so great was my need for you, but only for a while, Brian. I said only for a while and guess what, four months is a while. I told you that if there was no chance of change, no possibility of compromise, I would take my not-fucking -you-anyway cock and move on. Any of this ringing a bell for you?”
“Yeah,” Brian whispered, glancing at him before returning his attention to the fingers he seemed unable to control. Lace and unlace. Lace and unlace. Repeated a hundred times.
“I’ve given you everything I am, y’know?“ he said, now slouched low on the couch, talking really more to himself than to Brian. “I’ve given you my mouth, my hands, my ass, my cock. All of me. I’ve given you everything, held nothing back, nothing. I’ve said things to you I’ve never said to anyone, things I never thought I could say. I’ve told you things about me no one else knows. No one. I’ve let you do things to me I’ve never let anyone else do. Ah god, Brian…where you’ve taken me, but thing is, you hold out on me, hold back on me, haven’t given me all of you and that can’t work. Not for me. Not anymore.” He looked over to Brian, he looked over to pretty, pretty Brian sitting so still beside him. He forced himself to finish. “I want you Brian, I want you so much I can hardly stand it. And all of you with no restrictions, with no limitations, with no inhibitions and if you can’t give me that, then I have to go because, honestly, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t. Truth? if I can’t have you then…fuck it. I’ll leave.”
“C’mere.” Brian murmured and he crawled into his arms, Brian held him, talked to him, said, “I remember all of what you said, about Justin, about everything. I guess, in a way, he let me always be in control. You won’t though, will you?”
He shook his head, said, “In all fairness, Justin was young and inexperienced. You have to admit you took advantage of that and anyway you did tell me that he’s ‘allowed’ to top you once in a while--”
“More ‘once’ than ‘in a while’ but yeah, now and then. I like to think of it as a kind of reward--”
“Do I even want to know?” he asked, needing suddenly to scrub the heels of his hands over his eyebrows as if trying to make some internal pain go away, as if trying to make some persistent images disappear such as of pretty little blond fucking tall beautiful brunette. He scrubbed his eyes trying to make the all too persistent images just go away. Still, almost as if now needing to hurt himself more, he asked, “Gonna share?”
“Well when, for instance, he decided to stop being a go-go boy and take his tuition from me. Or when he told PIFA that he wouldn’t apologize to Stockwell. While I did convince him to apologize to the school, when he wouldn’t to Stockwell, that was top-worthy. Or when I found out he was doing the posters. At first I was pissed, but when the reality of Stockwell finally--”
“That’s right, finally sunk in, I actually helped him poster around the neighborhood one night and well, also top-worthy.”
“So, basically Stockwell was pretty important for him with regards to your ass.”
“Actually pretty important because there was also the night Stockwell was defeated. So, yeah, quite helpful until I lost almost everything, even the loft. After that, I seized back control--”
“Not to interrupt, but if I may share, I did make a contribution to the loan for Concerned Citizens for the Truth. I was there the night Lindsay gave you the check.”
“Not a problem. Glad it all worked out so well. I could not believe how quickly you paid the loan back. Very impressive.”
“I’m just an impressive kind of guy, but then, you’d know that too, wouldn’t you?”
“I have had some experience in this area, at least--”
“Oh, and once in awhile if he could suck my dick so hard that he could actually make my eyes roll back into my head for at least fifteen sec--”
“Brian…dear, kind of off the point, except that we may have actually established that you do bottom on occasion. Is that fair to say, on occasion?”
“Sort of on occasion, maybe every once in awhile, sure.”
“I need for this to be one of those occasions. I really do.”
So Brian led him to the bed. Most of the time, it was his bed. Sometimes, it was theirs and after four months and a serious threat, Brian gave himself to him, and being the creative and appreciative type, he came up with as many ways as he could imagine to show his appreciation.
And even though he didn’t know why, even though he didn’t understand this sudden turn of events, a couple of months later, when Brian finally gave himself to Justin, really gave himself, not as some kind of a reward, but only as a lover, Justin, also being a creative and appreciative kind of guy, would show his appreciation in as many ways as he could imagine.
All and all, Brian made out pretty well, no major surprises there and all he had to do was let two beautiful men make him feel really, really good by fucking him…on occasion. Life…what a bitch.
Next Chapter: Jennifer makes a second grab for the brass ring and this time, she makes it
for original post & additional chapters, please see here